|Posted on Saturday, January 19, 2002 - 8:30 am: |
I am looking for some advice. I am not a geneologist, and am unsure what to do without starting a family fight.
My husband found out a few years ago that he had a brother who was put up for adoption. NOONE in the family knew of this child,except the mother (who is deceased), and My husbands father (not the father of the child).
The adopted child contacted a lot of the family members a few years ago, looking for info, everyone was somewhat cooperative.
Since then, there really has not been much contact.
The question: In geneological terms, should I include this person & his family in my creation of the tree? I'm afraid everyone will be angry with me for doing so. I would like to send this person a copy of the tree, also. There are some hard feelings associated with this, and I do not want to start a big fight.
I'm just an in-law, creating a family tree that has never existed on paper.
It seems like they all just want to forget about this child that was put up for adoption.
|Posted on Sunday, January 20, 2002 - 1:12 pm: |
I would put his name in your tree as the brother of your husband. You can make a note that he was adopted too. But usually when someone does a family chart, you create the tree using the direct line for each individual.
For example, one tree will start with you, then your parents, then your grandparents, etc. Beside your name, you will list your spouse. A second tree could be started with your husband, then his parents, his grandparents, etc.
A lot of people only list siblings with birth/death dates and maybe a spouse but don't go further because there is too much work. (My genealogy already goes back to about the 7th century and I have two 4" binders of pedigrees. it would be much bigger if I didn't hit a lot of places where there was no name for a wife.)
This is just my opinion, but if your husband wants to list his brother who was adopted, I think you should. A family tree is something you will leave future generations. I don't know the conditions of why he was put up for adoption, and i don't understand why it could cause family problems since it was so long ago, but I would think it would be wonderful to find a missing family member. Sometimes people need to know where they "belong" and it would be great to help him.
And I think the adopted brother would love to get a copy of at least the mother's line (his blood line).
I think he should definitely be included, because he is a blood son of the mother. He is a part of line, adopted or not.
|Posted on Sunday, January 20, 2002 - 10:46 pm: |
Thank you very much, Debbie. That's what I wanted to do, but the family is not open about the situation, to say the least. I guess I'll take the criticizm I know will come. They can white it out if they don't like it. And, when a child is adopted INTO the family, they are added with a note.
And you are right, 50 years from now, my great grandchildren will want to know who is who. I'ts much easier to just bring it all out in the open, instead of hiding the fact, especially now that he has made contact.
Thank you once again, you put me on the right track in dealing with my geneology issue.
|Posted on Monday, January 21, 2002 - 12:09 am: |
You are very welcome...hopefully they won't say anything...maybe they will "let sleeping dogs lay" as the saying goes...aare you pretty well set with resources to search for your links?
|Posted on Friday, February 22, 2002 - 10:57 pm: |
The adopted child was very happy about being included in the tree. It was stated how most adoptees never know where they came from, and that is true. His family seemed very appreciative of the fact that I included him, and that I thought to send a copy. I feel really good about what I did.
So far,no ill effects have come from it, and I feel confident it was the right thing to do. Thanks to you, I found the words to deal with it when and if the subject of the tree comes up.
I just thought I would let everyone know how the story ended.
|Posted on Saturday, February 23, 2002 - 12:25 pm: |
Anonymous...I think you did the right thing...the person is a member of the family, adopted or not...I bet the inclusion makes the adopted person feel like he/she really belongs to a family because of it.
|Posted on Tuesday, December 17, 2002 - 2:14 am: |
My mother is adopted, and has always been rather upset about her parents giving her up. Because it was an open adoption, I knew her birth name, and recently found out information about her biological parents (she's 91) and sent it to her with some trepidation. She was happy to receive it. I think that there is a natural longing on the part of adoptees to know who they are, who they are related to, where they "belong."
Some genealogy programs (including Family Tree Maker) allow you to choose whether to "hide" certain people from charts and family trees that you create, although they are still in the database. You can thus create trees/reports either with or without the adoptee. It can be tricky to enter several sets of parents, since you have to make sure to check "adopted" or "natural" and properly enter both the birth name and adopted name of the adoptee, but this allows you to keep all the information in one place, and to create different reports for different people, thus not offending either the ones who want the person in the tree or those who don't!
Jenna Kirsten Roschi
|Posted on Thursday, June 10, 2004 - 11:37 am: |
My Name is JENNA KIRSTEN ROSCHI. i'm looking for my birth mother. i know her name is Kim, her husband's name is Patrick, and she has three adorable boys named Mitchell, Taylor, and Christopher. I really, really want to be able to get in contact with you as soon as possible!!! my cell phone # is (317) 414-9801. my mailing address is 3100 Meridian Parke Drive North, Suite #215, Greenwood, Indiana 46143. My boyfriend's name is Christian Demarcus Coram and our home phone # is (317) 889-5639. i always have my cell phone on!!! try that first. my email address is email@example.com. i love you...please call me!!!
Melissa Kim Weston (Melissa_weston)
Post Number: 2
|Posted on Friday, October 08, 2004 - 4:55 am: |
Hello My name is Melissa, I am looking for my Husbands Father Donald Davies, who had an alias of Orville Dale Baker that name was on the marriage certificate Sept-9-1946 In Scott City Kansas(and is false, true name is Donald Davies born in state of Washington) Donald Married Grace Elizabeth Frank, they had a son Robert Earl Weston 9-27-1949 in Scott City Kansas. They later divorced in the 1950's and then Grace Married a JC Weston 6-5-1954 who was in the army, and Robert took on the last name of Weston, even though we have not found any adoption records. Robert's Mother is now deceased, and we are still looking for Donald.
My husband is 55, he has never seen his father, I have had no luck in contacting any family, I have been searching for over 4 yrs, his older kids have been searching and hired a private investigator, and still can't find him. I at times feel like he is not ment to be found, but it sure would be nice if someone contacted me who knew any information at all.
If anyone has any information at all you can contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
or you can call me at 541-557-1512 (please leave message, as I may be online, or away from phone)
or write to me at Melissa Weston
P.O. Box 291, Otis Oregon, 97368
Thank you very much
God Bless You
Robert & Melissa Weston
Melissa Kim Weston (Melissa_weston)
Post Number: 3
|Posted on Monday, October 11, 2004 - 3:26 am: |
In Reply to my Husband Robert Earl Weston(davies),
He was born in Garden City Kansas 9-27-1949, got it mixed up with Scott City Kansas.
Melissa K Weston